Last year was…a lot, to say the least. It began with ideas of growth, making big moves, and doing all the ambitious things many of us dream up when any new year is among us. By the second month of the year, all those hopes shattered and fell to the ground as I had to come to terms with losing my mom so quickly after her cancer diagnosis in November. Trying to do new, scary things in your life while also processing new, scary things of a different breed proved to be a difficult task. While on a surface level, I coped, I held myself together, and I did my duties, the internal struggle was a lot more difficult. The battleground of my mind and all the regrets, wishes, and dashed dreams of what “could have been” took up too much brain space from one day to the next. It was hard to find motivation to want to do anything. It felt hard to show up to anything when I did commit to it. Truth be told, even though the year has ended, I’m still struggling with a lot of the same. It just got easier to force myself to “toughen up.” Probably that 90s kid resilience at play, I suppose. Anywho, looking back now through my camera roll and notes, I can see that I did a lot I didn’t realize.
- We started our new year with a hike. We had talked about getting out hiking more often. It always felt refreshing to do it. We came to realize that it was the “finding intentional time to do it” part that made it not happen. What we envisioned as a couple times a month ended up being a handful of times in the entire year. Maybe we can revisit that again this year. We did truly enjoy them when we were able.
- I started making beans a lot. To anyone who doesn’t know me well, this may sound silly, but I really love beans! I started making two large stock pots of different beans each month and freezing them into meal sized portions, and I was able to refrain from buying canned beans all year. I’m pretty proud of this as it’s something I’d done every now and again in the past, but never maintained consistency in. Homemade beans are sooooo good + my meals are so much better with them!
- I took Advanced Illustration, which was the final full length class I needed for my degree. This was super neat, and really helped me get a grasp on using illustrator for making technical flats. I’m still no artist (and will never claim to be) but it was fun!
- I had a couple of sewcial sew dates with some sewing friends throughout the year and that was nice. I’d love to be more consistent with that. Again, it’s all about intentionality.
- We traveled back to AL at the end of February for my mom’s funeral. It was the first time I had gotten to see my dad & one of my brothers since we moved here in 2020, the first time I saw my other brother in maybe 8-9 years & my high school besties since probably 2015 or so (except for one, Candyace came to our wedding in 2017). I guess that was the one silver lining to it all…
- In March, my mom stayed heavily on my mind as I processed all the ways grief was appearing. One of the most life changing things that could have happened began here. Knowing of her strengthened faith caused me to look at my own. I found a church and the kids and I have had faithful attendance and involvement ever since. It has been internally transformational to witness what God can and will do to and through people.
- I participated in my first fashion show in April as a designer. The theme was Eco Elegance and I made my husband a bomber jacket and joggers entirely from denim jeans and some donated lining fabric for the interior. It was one of the highlights of my year to see so many people love my work (and even want to buy it). It was also a time where my perspective on textile usage drastically shifted and I started thinking a lot more about where I was wasteful in my practices and how I could change it.
- Ian turned 9 this year. We went to Filoli in May, which is one of my favorite places. We also made a big change for our family. We adopted a bonded sibling pair of kittens. A feral cat had kittens in our backyard in March. After trapping the mama and having her spayed, a rescue took in the 5 kittens and socialized them. We decided we were ready to bring two of them into our home and Cocoa and Bean have become such a tight knit part of our lives in the time since! In May, I also received my first ever Honorary Service Award from the PTA. I chaperoned a lot of field trips this year, was heavily involved in multiple PTA programs (the Spelling Bee, teacher luncheon committee, door decorating, and I also served on the board as VP Communications).
- Paul and I had a couple dates this year. In February, we had a clay date. After my mom’s passing, we never made it back to finish up our pieces, but like to do it again sometime. In May, we attended a fashion + art show at another community college. We look forward to attending again this year. We also attended a fashion show in August in San Francisco where I showcased my Eco Elegance look again, as well as a piece I sewed for a teen student. You can read about that here. We had a couple lunch dates and a mall date toward the end of the year. We plan to make monthly dates a priority. Our marriage exists beyond parenting and it’s time we got serious about that.
- In June, I got to be a student assistant for the serging class at Cañada. Though people call me the “knit queen” and know I use my serger most of the time, even I learned some new tricks about what I could do with it! We had a couple family picnics this month as our weather got really nice. My MIL visited and we got to meet her new husband and enjoyed their company for a few days. My second sewing pattern, the Shantelle Shirred Top & Dress, was released at Ellie and Mac.
- Zia turned 16 in July! We didn’t travel at all this summer, even though I really wanted to see my aunt. We have to wait until the kittens are a bit older and we have some help to look in on them while we are gone. We hung back at home and did a few local things. A couple hikes, we attended Illuminaria, a festival at Montalvo Arts Center. We also entered pieces in the county fair again. My bag placed 2nd, my dress 1st. One of Ian’s art pieces placed 3rd, and the other two placed 1st. Paul’s photography placed 1st, 3rd, and 5th. I’m planning to enter a mix of sewing and photography next year. I spent part of this month finishing up my portfolio class and working on the collaboration dress. I also joined a book club through my church! It’s been really neat getting back into reading and combining it with my growing faith.
- In August, Paul and I attended the Earth Gala in SF where the dress I finished up and the denim look walked the runway. Summer ended and the kiddos went back to school! My camera roll became increasingly more full of cat pics 😂
- In September, I completed Manual Pattern Grading. This was 1/2 of my final classed needed to graduate. We managed to make it out for a couple hikes before the weather got too hot. I designed a Knit Bubble Skirt pattern this month, but after testing, we paused it for spring to revisit and revise for release. I also designed a princess sleeve peplum. It should test in the new year. This month, I joined a Bible Study Fellowship group so that I could strengthen my knowledge of the Word and grow deeper in my relationship to Jesus.
- I designed another pattern in October (a sweatshirt- it went into testing early December and releases the first week of the new year). I sewed a couple strikes and pattern tests. Ian got to represent his class at a a superintendent’s award ceremony. I sewed both kids halloween costumes at the last minute. PTA responsibilities ramped up and I found myself always having something to do.
- November was also busy with PTA events, which kept me busy. It had been 1 year since my mom’s diagnosis and I just gave myself space to let all the feelings that came with that pass. I took walks, took a million pics of our kitties, and overall took it easy. I also pulled back out my knitting projects as the cooler weather kicked in. That was bittersweet. When I first started knitting, I imagined making things for my mom if she lost her hair during chemo. I do enjoy knitting and, I remember most of the basics, but I’m just slow moving at completing anything wearable and have lots of unfinished projects.
- In the final month of the year, I completed Computerized Pattern Grading. This was the last of two short classes I needed to obtain my A.S. in Technical Apparel, and well as my A.S. in Custom Dressmaking at Cañada College. I have now officially completed all of the requirements for my degrees. I petitioned for one that was awarded this month; the other I have some stuff to work out with my counselor to get the system to approve it. Either way, I will participate in the commencement ceremony in May! 🙌🏾 We wrapped up the year in the safety and comfort of our home with board games and silly antics all evening.
As we begin a new year, and I look back at 2025, I am reminded of the beauty of life. Though the clock seems to tick so quickly and life flies by before we know it, we achieve so much, we just don’t always stop to see it. It’s easiest to remember our shortcomings, where we wish we did better, or what we identify as clear failures than it is to recognize even the most minuscule accomplishments. I’ve never done the word for a year thing, but I’d like to. I think for 2026, my word will be appreciation. I want to appreciate all the people around me who play major or small roles in my day to day. I want to appreciate the mundane. Appreciate the breath I inhale every morning, my freedoms, my blessings. Appreciate my trials for the lessons they teach.
I’m doing what I would have told any friend going through the same year I’ve had: being gentle with myself & extending grace in this season, no matter when this season ends. Though there are always major things I want to accomplish or improve on, I’m not setting a checklist of things to do this year. Instead, I’ll just focus on day to day. Growing and repairing relationships, finishing school and determining my career path, staying present in my home, abiding in Jesus. Everything else…it’ll all happen as it does.
Be well, be safe, and find joy where you can, my friends. Cheers to the new year! 🎉