One thing I started telling myself over and over again, is that in life, we end up where we need to be when the time is right. There is no magic age where you are "supposed to be" in a specific place. I had been stuck in that mindset for so long, that I had to snap myself out of it in order to see the true beauty of my current moment and the life I actually live.
Four months later, I am willing to admit that some days I am barely making it work in this life with two, but I have learned that my online and real life friends were right. You do make it work, even if everything is all hanging by the thread of a spider’s web.
Thinking back to when I first moved to this town two summers ago, there were two things I made sure to do within my first week here. I located the closest playground and the nearest library. This should answer my question—I highly value the library in my community. "Should they be important to everyone else, too?" became my new question.
Speaking openly about miscarriage changes things. People learn that those who suffer them have lost children, and are in pain and do need support. When we are silent, I believe that others think we are okay. This is not to say that others will immediately understand, but it's a start to helping them do so. We shouldn't be ashamed to speak about our losses. We also shouldn't have to justify their roles in our lives as real.
A few weeks ago, our daughter turned six! Yay!! We had known for a while that she wanted to have a Minecraft party. I was a little wary, because last year her birthday party was Frozen themed and required far too much time and money for a five-year-old. I set out this year with a plan to spend as little as possible and DIY as many things as I could. Pinterest provided a lot of inspiration for me.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have come to realize that we all have our own story to tell. I have my own opinions about life and parenting. I have learned how to DIY a lot of cool things. I like teaching myself photography. I can't allow a false sense of inadequacy to dictate what I do or don't do. Why must I limit myself to writing about one thing, simply to be like everyone else? To that question, I had no answer. Like I often say to my daughter, “if you don't know why you're doing it, don't do it.” I simply had to take heed to my own advice.